Dana Paramita

The first Paramita (see The Ten Paramitas) is Dana, or generosity, especially generosity of spirit. Some of the situations in which we fail in being generous may include:

1. Stubbornly insisting on having things our own way

2. Not respecting others; not listening with an open heart/mind

3. Not answering questions; defying social expectations (How are you? What do you do?)

4. Not accepting invitations

5. Refusing gifts

6. Not teaching (but, remember Upaya, skillful means)

7. Not offering the Three Refuges

Of special note are 4 and 5. Is it always more blessed to give than to receive? If so, the generous act is to graciously receive so the other may be blessed by giving.

Try. Breathe. Connect. (Repeat)

Most of our classes are appropriate for both beginners and advanced. This is possible because there are three things that everyone can do well from the beginning. Those three things are:

Try. Breathe. Connect.

• Try. Give it a shot. Keep at it. Pay persistent attention. Spend some time with it. Diligently use what you have learned, and go a little bit further.

• Breathe. In and out. Receive and Release. Open the neck, the jaw, the lips, and the ribs.

• Connect. Look around. Listen. Move, feel, respond. Offer and receive.

Remember these three things: Try. Breathe. Connect. Maintain them and the particular skills you are developing through lessons and practice. They will come naturally in due time.

Keeping Agreements

Many wonderful, creative, well-meaning, smart, gentle, heartfelt and fun people are lousy at keeping agreements. Working in the world, agreements are essential and frequent. To avoid frustration and disappointment, skillfully work with agreeing and agreements.

• Know what you want.

• Be clear about mutual expectations (including scheduling and budgeting).

• Realistically assess the likelihood of the agreement being completed successfully.

• Formalize the agreement within 24 hours by reiterating, and changing if needed.

• Communicate during the process, reworking or canceling the agreement if necessary.

• Remain unattached to the results.

• Assess the process and the results as they might illumine future agreements.

• (Not every step above is needed in all circumstances.)

Check yourself; recognize the other person’s point of view, ability and level of commitment; and respond accordingly.

What about good people who are lousy at keeping agreements? Might as well acknowledge and enjoy their free spirited approach to the future, and make agreements with them lightly, or not at all.